How to Balance Work & Home
Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least - Steven R. Covey
When I was a kid, one of my favorite toys was called “Stretch Armstrong.” It was a large, gel-filled action hero. The amazing thing about Stretch Armstrong is that even though it was only 15 inches in its original size, it could be stretched up to 5 feet. After it was stretched to the max, it would slowly return to its original size. Of course, as a kid, the goal was to see how far it could be stretched without causing a tear. What I quickly learned is even Stretch Armstrong had limitations. Needless to say, we figured out how to make Stretch Armstrong break. Even though we tried to repair the toy with the adhesive bandage that was included inside the box, we learned that Stretch Armstrong was never the same after it had been stretched beyond its limitations.
The example above describes many modern-day families. They are stretched beyond their limitations with work, school, domestic responsibilities and extracurriculars to the point that marriage and families are being torn apart.
Small Business Trends surveyed 38 countries on work, life balance. America ranks #30 in Balancing Work & Home. Full-Time US workers spend an average of 8.15 hours per day working. In addition 33% work on Saturday, Sundays & Holidays which leads to the reason why 66% of all full-time employees strongly believe they do not have a healthy Work-Life Balance.
Sadly, we live in a culture that says, “more is better.” Everywhere you turn we are bombarded by advertisements that remind us of all the things we don’t have and attempt to sell us on all the things we need to be happy. Therefore, we are driven to have more “upgrades and experiences” so that we don’t miss out on all the “good things” life has to offer. Yet, all of this causes us to say “yes” to even more things which takes up more time and money. Have you noticed the default language we use when people ask us “how things are going?” We typically say things like... “Things are crazy right now.” “We have been so busy lately!” “We have been going non-stop.” Unfortunately, we seem to justify all of these statements by believing three lies.
“There is just not enough time to do everything.”
“It’s just a busy season I’m in right now.”
“But, this is really important right now.”
I must confess, I have used all of these default statements and believed all three of these lies. No matter how we try to rationalize and justify our overstretched and busy lives it is pulling our families apart. In Luke’s gospel, Jesus reminds us of two sisters named Mary and Martha. Jesus teaches us a valuable lesson on being stretched too thin.
Luke 10:38-42 (NIV) As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
How about you? Are you like Martha? We all fall into the trap of saying yes to the “good” things that keep us from experiencing the “best” things. In Martha’s case, she allowed “other things” to distract her from being in the presence of Jesus. So how do we find a balance between work and home? How do we get to the better?
How To Balance Work & Home
1. Admit The Lies
Stop believing that more Is better, stop saying it’s a season… A season is not busy. People are busy. We all get 24 hrs a day. We have 168 hours in a week. The question is where and how are we spending our time. Put it on paper. Look at how and where you’re spending your time in a typical 24 hour day in a 7 day week. You may discover you have more time than you think.
2. Name Your Distractions
Identify your commitments that are competing with the things you say are important to you. How do you know if something is a distraction? You feel guilty because the commitment you said yes to is robbing you from the things you say are important to you. Something or someone is being cheated from your time & attention and it is causing guilt and regret. Some of the things that take up time may not be bad things, some might even be necessary. However, if you have too many of those things go on at the same time then they can turn into distractions that rob us from what is better.
3. Choose What Is Better
This is the Shift we have to make if you’re going to get our lives back. We have to start eliminating the unnecessary distractions that are competing with our values and priorities. We have to embrace the truth that we can have more by doing less. How? Claim your calendar before something or someone else does. Learn the difference between what is urgent and what is important. Everything may be important in your eyes but not everything is urgent. Remember, Busy Is Not Better… Better Is Better.