How to Create a Healthy Family Culture

Our beliefs determine our behavior. What you believe determines how you live.
— Rodney Gage, Family Shift Book

Have you ever thought long and hard about what values are important to you and your family? What are the guiding principles, priorities, or qualities that you use to define or shape your marriage and family? Why are these questions so important? Because what we believe determines how we live. Our values not only drive our priorities and decisions, but they also shape the culture of our marriage and family relationships. The culture of our home is either by design or by default. 

Chances are your beliefs and perspective toward how you see things in life were shaped and influenced by your parents, or lack thereof, growing up as a child. Whether your parents' influence on your upbringing was positive or negative, it's essential to learn from both the good and the bad to determine what is most important to you.  

What will be the non-negotiables that will define and shape your life, marriage, and family? Whatever you decide for them to be is what will set your marriage and family apart. How do you determine your core values or the things that are most important to you as a family?

1. Determine the Source of your Beliefs.  

Why is this so important? Because our beliefs determine our behavior. What you believe determines how you live. The question is who or what are you allowing to influence and shape your views? Is it culture, friends, your parents? In Florida, where we live, we know first hand the damage a category 4 or 5 hurricane can have not just on a home, but on an entire city. We've seen it with our own eyes. Often, the only thing that is left after a catastrophic hurricane is the foundation of the house. What will serve as the foundation of your beliefs that will withstand the storms of life?

2. Determine the Values that Matter Most.  
For example, honesty, integrity, patience, generosity, kindness, etc. are the type of virtues or values that serve as the guidelines and guardrails for the decisions we make. They impact our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors within our marriage and family. We have an entire section dedicated to this in our new book that will spark ideas on how to determine what values will be most important to you as a family. To learn more go to familyshift.com 

3. Create a Family-Driven Culture. 

Culture is often hard to define, but it's easy to see when you experience it. Culture is usually made up of many "intangible" qualities that set a restaurant, retail store, or even a company apart from all the others. Chick -fil- A, Apple, and Disney are all brands that have created a unique "feel" or "culture" that serves as their "secret sauce" to how they deliver their service or product. It sets them apart from all other brands. Our family culture should be no different. It's easy to spot a couple that seems to have a close, healthy, and thriving marriage. It's also easy to spot a family that appears to have a loving, close-knit relationship with each other. What is their "secret sauce?" Usually, you will find that they have a "code" of beliefs and values that they have embraced and are committed to living out.  

Remember, we must first be the "vibe" we want to be around. Our stated values aren't as important as the values we live out. Let me encourage you to establish a value-driven culture in your marriage and home. I believe you will experience a shift in your marriage and family that will transform your most important relationships.  

Want more MARRIAGE & PARENTING tips and tools?

Check out the Family Shift Book! It’s the 5 step plan to stop drifting and start living with greater intention in your relationships that matter most.

Each chapter contains questions to answer as a family and additional resources to work through together. Every family gets off track at some point, but that's not a major problem as long as you know your destination. Family Shift has families working together to create a family vision, mission statement, and core values family members will be better equipped to help one another navigate the unexpected twists and turns of life.