Pain vs Purpose
Our beliefs determine our behavior. What you believe determines how you live.
— Rodney Gage, Family Shift Book
Your Pain May Not Be Your Problem
When I was in high school, I had a serious motorcycle accident while attempting to race motocross. At the time I didn’t realize the impact it would have on my neck ultimately causing me to suffer from 3 herniated disk. Over time, I developed chronic neck & back pain. I found myself going to the chiropractor on a consistent basis. Most of the time my pain was in the upper-middle part of my back between my shoulder blades. However, when the doctor gave me an adjustment he would work on my neck. I would argue that my pain was being felt between my shoulder blades. He described my situation as “referred pain.” I was feeling pain in one area that was actually being caused from another area. I was out of alignment. He would give me an adjustment in my neck which would relieve the pain & discomfort in the upper-middle part of my back.
I meet a lot of people who feel pain & discomfort in different areas of their lives (struggling marriage, poor health, stress at work or in other relationships, financial problems, etc.). One of the things I have learned in my own life as well as working with so many people is that often the pain we feel is not actually our problem. They are symptoms from another cause or root problem. Most of the time, it is due to misalignment with their purpose. They need an adjustment to get back in proper alignment with their purpose. So how do you do that?
Decide What Is Important.
Unfortunately, most peoples lives are not defined by what’s important but what’s urgent. The tyranny of the urgent gets us out of alignment with the things that matter. Author John Maxwell say’s “Everything worthwhile is uphill.” The reason why the worthwhile things are uphill is simply because they don’t come easy. We have to fight for it. We have to ultimately decide what is important to us and fight to protect those things that will ultimately bring purpose, joy and fulfillment to our lives.
2. Give Calendar Time To Important Things.
Whatever you value put it on the calendar first. Author Michael Hyatt say’s, “What gets written down gets done.” If you need to work on your marriage and discuss what is most important in your marriage put it on the calendar. If you need to adjust your diet or start exercising more put it on your calendar, if you need financial help, set up a time to get advice. We can talk about it all day but at some point, we have to take action and put it on the calendar and guard it at all cost.
3. Eliminate The Non-Essentials.
Co-founder and CEO of Keller Williams real estate company wrote a book called “The ONE Thing.” The book is centered around the question, What’s the one thing I can do, such that by doing it everything else is easier or unnecessary? This a great question that can be applied to almost any situation. It is a question to discuss with your spouse, co-worker, kids and most importantly with yourself.
4. Regularly Take Inventory.
Create a “time block” at the first of each month to reflect, review and evaluate your progress. Are you in proper alignment with the things you say are important? If not, you may need an adjustment so that your life is in proper alignment with your purpose. Life is too short not to live it on purpose.
Want more MARRIAGE & PARENTING tips and tools?
Check out the Family Shift Book! It’s the 5 step plan to stop drifting and start living with greater intention in your relationships that matter most.
Each chapter contains questions to answer as a family and additional resources to work through together. Every family gets off track at some point, but that's not a major problem as long as you know your destination. Family Shift has families working together to create a family vision, mission statement, and core values family members will be better equipped to help one another navigate the unexpected twists and turns of life.