Our beliefs determine our behavior. What you believe determines how you live.
— Rodney Gage, Family Shift Book

ReThink Priorities

Several years ago, we were visiting family in Texas. The last night of our visit, we packed our bags so we could leave early the next morning for our flight back to Orlando. I didn’t sleep well that night, because I anticipated the stress & strain of getting our kids up and dressed so we could get out the door by 4:30am to catch an early morning flight. In the early morning darkness, I got up, dressed, and started to load the car. To make as little noise as I possible, I was barefoot. I started carrying several enormous suitcases down the winding staircase to the front door. In the pitch-black darkness, I misjudged the last step, where the surface changed from carpet to hardwood. I slipped, landed on my big toe, and sent suitcases flying through the air! I was in some serious pain. I probably broke my toe. (To this day that toe doglegs to the right and hurts in cold weather.) My mishap reminds me of what can happen when we misjudge the distance between our commitments and priorities. It can create a lot to pain and frustration. It can also cause us to lose sight of what’s most important, make bad choices, and consume a lot of time as we try to remedy a bad situation we’ve caused. No wonder we’re so frustrated and stressed! Many of us are overcommitted. We’ve said yes to so much that we feel powerless to do the things we really want to do. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Because we continually misjudge the distance between our commitments and priorities.

Freya Stark once said, “There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.”

How do we rethink our priorities? By closing the gap between our commitments and our priorities. How do we do that? By learning to say “no” to the good and “yes” to the best.

We can say our key relationships- our spouse, children, extended family, faith and close friendships are a priority to us. However, our commitments of work, hobbies, recreation, travel, kids activities, volunteering and other obligations that consume our time cause us to say “Whoa, I’m maxed out.” “I have a lot going on my my life.”

There is nothing wrong with participating in all the “good” things life has to offer. In fact, each one may be a wonderful cause, a worthwhile activity, or the perfect past-time. But here’s the kicker: collectively, they may be too much for us to handle. Like the proverbial frog in the kettle, the heat of the additional commitments slowly rises until we’re cooked! Over time, all of these good things start to rob us from the best things that we say are important to us. Consequently, we live with no margin, our marriages suffer, the quality time of our family relationships suffer. And financially we find ourselves with too much month at the end of our money.

“Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” Johann von Goethe

Question: Do your priorities currently line up with your current commitments?

The “prior” in the word priorities means “advance decision making.” It’s saying “no” upfront to the “good” so we can say “yes” to the “best.” If we don’t let our values & priorities determine our choices then we end up saying “yes” to all the “ities” in life. The “ities” on our calendars are the things that rob us from our “priorities.”

Let me encourage you to set aside some time this week to ask yourself, what are my top five priorities in life? As you have probably seen illustrated with the jar filled with rocks, pebbles and sand put your top five priorities (big rocks) on your calendar first. You will be amazed at how all the other “pebbles” (secondary commitments) and “sand” (other time consuming commitments) will fall into place. That is how we can rethink and reprioritize the things that matter most in our lives.